Okay, I want a piglet

I always make fun of Rachel for being HSHSHS and all farm-knowledgeable, but LOOK AT THAT PIGLET.

Mucinex and Other Things

So I actually peed 8 or 9 times today. I woke up with SNIFFLY SNUFFLES in my nose and I said to myself:

I think I am sick. I hope this is not so.
If I am sick, this sickness has to go.

So later that day I took some Mucinex and you're supposed to drink a FULL GLASS of water with it. So I did. And then I drank some more water. And then an unending day of peeing ensued.

It was so inconvenient.

Also, today I had Bible Study. My Bible Study is the best of all the Bible Studies in the world. I like all the people in it. Also, we do cool things, like read 1 Samual and volunteer and pray together and go have a beer.

Oh, and one more thing I AM GOING TO THE ZOO ON SATURDAY.

OMG, (and this situation is exciting enough to warrant an OMG) I am so excited.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYLE RADEN

I'm glad you're my brother. Happy 22nd Birthday!

Love,

Your favorite sister

Thoughts I Have Had

Here are some thoughts I have had today:

"Ricky is such a little boodle cat."

"I wish I could sleep in. Maybe I can. Am I sick? Yeah, I have a stomach ache. No. No I don't. What time is it? I have at least five more minutes."

"What is the name of this song?"

"WHY IS MY CAR PARKED SO FAR AWAY? This is ridiculous. RIDICULOUS. I am writing a letter to the landlord and telling her to add more parking spots."

"I love Obama."

"I wonder where my red robe is."

"RCC is the best. It is actually the best."

"I am glad my mom is not a piece of biscotti."

"This lion rug is the softest thing in the whole world. I wish I had a shirt made out of this lion rug."

Overheard in a Crowded Target Bathroom

5-year-old: Mom. Mom. Mom!

Mom: Shhhh.

5-year-old: Mom, my butt crack hurts.

Mom: SHHHH.

"Please leave a message for.... NICOLERADEN...." beep

Top 3 Voicemails I Have Ever Received

1) Jacson imitating a walrus-like man that spoke in a high pitched noise. It went on for a long time and featured a "Mi mi mi-mi-mi, mimi mi-mi mi" section. I saved that for a long time.


2) Today when I got a voicemail from Lynn that detailed how angry she was that I didn't answer my phone. It included the ways in which she was signifying that we were no longer friends (taking me off her written list of friends, ripping off her friendship bracelet that matches mine, turning a poem I wrote about my dog and framed for her around so it faces the wall, etc.) It was very creative.


3) Once, Rachel was being exceptionally annoying because she wouldn't stop singing "Part of That World" from the Little Mermaid over and over. I couldn't find my phone and so I asked her to call it and when I ran upstairs and found it, she stealthily left me a message that was her singing that song in a sneaky, creepy voice. I didn't discover the message until later. It was funny.

Alllllllllll Right, hey! It's Nicole Raden, here with the Beat Squad, bringing you continuous hits...

I love my job(s) and I love what I do. However, what if I have to do something else some day? Lucky for me, I can use my skills for other jobs.

OTHER OCCUPATION POSSIBILITIES

• Radio talk show host
• Children's television show star
• Animated movie voice actress
• Children's story book author
• Stand up comedian
• Doritos Factory worker
• Reality television show host
• Game show host
• Snowy the Famous Bear Agent
• Zoo Admirer

Also, CONGRATULATIONS OBAMA

Love,

Nicole and Ricky

I just think it's hilarious

Superstars of Dance is...

...actually extremely stupid. I wrote an earlier blog singing about its awesomeness, and I was very wrong.

The judging is stupid, there are a lot of non-dancers that are saying they are dancers, and some of the dancers that are supposed to be "the best in the world" are actually mediocre weirdos.

Actual good dancers include:

• Savion Glover (featured earlier in my blogging)
• Mikhail Baryshnikov
• Nick Lazzarini
• Anyone on So You Think You Can Dance

Fun Photo Game By Myself

I am going to play a game with my kodakgallery.com pictures. I will pick a random album and then post that picture no matter what it is and tell you about it. (People tag each other with this game, I know, I know, but I just want to play by myself.)

Okay: Alphabetical listing, Fifth album, 17th picture

Well, that's a boring picture. No offense to Grandma and Derek, but why did I even take this picture? This is Christmas 2006. Derek looks about 12 years younger than he is now. I guess that's interesting, but I'm bored of that picture.

Try again.

Backwards alphabetical, 3rd Album, 20th picture

This is Katie playing in on the ice at Boulevard park. Snow storm 2006, after the Thankgiving snow bonanza. Fun fact about that picture: Katie bought those pants at Fred Meyer, wore them, and took them back.

That was better but not awesome. One more:

Listed by Date, 1st album, last picture.

This is Carolyn, Halloween 2007, with her pumpkin. She worked on this for a long time. If you look carefully, you can see "Starry Night" carved into her pumpkin. She was very proud, and also her pumpkin was way cooler than mine, which was lame.

That was moderately fun. More fun than when Ricky attacks my feet, but less fun than someone buying me a surprise bag of my favorite Doritos. (Name those Doritos for 1 friendship point.)

The Pain I Feel....

THE NACHOS AT APPLEBEES HAVE CHANGED.

Instead of fake, delicious cheese in generous amounts, they use 5 shreds of regular cheese. And there are no olives, no beans, and the plate is smaller. And it doesn't taste even 50% as good.

STUPID ECONOMIC CRISIS ruining my favorite nachos.

Mom, do you remember this?

It was my favorite movie as a kid.

If you want to know how I became the wonderful woman I am today, watch this.

You wonder why I speak the way I do? The ponies names are things like Lickity-Split and Magic Star, and there was The Grundle King, The Moochick, and Bushwooly. They are fighting the Smooze and finding the Phlume. and they live in Flutter Valley. I looked on Wikipedia and there was even a segment when they visited Friendship Valley.

I was destined to be a creative speaker.

Hahaha.

Yes, there is confusion.

More than 3 times in my life, I have seen or heard an advertisement and thought it was for toys (and been excited and interested) when in fact it was for sexual toys.

Once I even took a flyer that said "Have a toy party for you and your friends! Host gets a free toy!"

Very disappointing.

The Nictionary: Terms #4 - 5

4) Nobbly Frosting (n): Betty Crocker's Rainbow Chip Frosting. Was shortened to "nobbles" c. 2004. Can you bring me my nobbly frosting?

5) Nobbles (n.): derived from Nobbly Frosting. Something that has round balls on it, usually hanging off. I like the slippers with the nobbles on the top.

At least they're the fastest...

I am uploading my music to my new iTunes account on this computer, and I am currently doing my Empowerment CDs. I have 6. My friend Emily and I made them my freshman and sophomore years of college.

I've never known any of the real titles or artists for most of the songs, and so (in order to have my iTunes as clean and organized as I want it to be) I have been searching the lyrics of all the songs on the internet and appropriately labeling them.

Well, one of the songs I loved the most I just learned is sung by the Cheetah Girls. The Cheetah Girls.

Very cool.

Terror on the waterslide

I had a dream last night that I was on one of those waterslides where you are supposed to have an intertube and I lost my intertube and FLEW OFF THE EDGE.

My mom was mad.

The Nictionary - Terms #1-3

So, I make up a lot of words. And use them frequently. I would estimate that about 40% or what comes out of my mouth is in a Nicole dialect that is not understood by the masses. Thus, I would like to educate you so you can all understand me and spread these delightful terms.

1) Boodle Sandwich (n.): A term of endearment. Oh, what a little boodle sandwich you are.

2) Snack-a-doodle (n.): Snack-time, but with a promise of having fun. Okay, Ray of Hope campers, it's time to go to snack-a-doodle!

3) MomDot (n.): A time that is exclusively reserved for mother and daughter. Can be used alone or in the phrase "MomDot Time." Let's have MomDot this weekend.

Bored? Try this.

When I am bored, I often go to YouTube and type in "me singing" and various songs. The results are hilarious and immediately solve the problem of boredom.

What you want to look for is middle/high schoolers who are

a) dressed in dark and wearing their hoods or

b) singing dramatic songs or

c) are boys singing a girly song or

d) have disclamers about their performance (ie "OMG my hair was still wet from the shower and I had a sore throat so plz comment nicely but be honest. not my best song, but it's one of the hardest to sing.)

I encourage you to try and see what you find. I am also accepting requests for what you would like me to video myself singing so I can post it on YouTube.

Cristina: This is my best idea for what we should do next for workouts.

Man, and I thought I was a dingus. Except for he is simultaneously a dingus and FANTASTICALLY AWESOME.

Did you know that I OWN a gospel aerobics VHS? If you lived with me at the Barn, you do. And also, I have done it. Twice. It is hilarious. The one I have includes a gospel CHOIR singing your workout songs.

Lameland

So far today, I have been a major dingus.

First, I overslept for my workout. VERY LAME. Especially because we didn't work out yesterday because of some texting miscommunication and my sleep disorder that makes it so I can't have coherant thoughts in the morning.

So then, I leap out of bed at the ripe bold time of 9:30am for my 10am meeting, shower super fast and then call my boss to verify the location of the meeting.

"Dingus," he says to me, "I sent you an email yesterday telling you the meeting was cancelled. Don't you check your email? You must live in lameland."

Today I do live in Lameland. I need to move out before I hit afternoon because I have lots of things I need to get done.

The only productive thing I have done so far today is found a glove to put on my hand for when I play with Ricky the Cat because he like "playful bites." It was very innovative.

One of My Heroes

Savion Glover!

Check out at least the first part, where it shows his feet close up. It is actually unbelievable, how quickly and precisely he moves his feet.

I saw Bring in Da Noise, Bring in Da Funk when I was a teenager. And it is my favorite. Also, I bought a pair of drumsticks there. They're pretty cool. I use them all the time.

Friendship Face

Sometimes Rachel Handysnacks and I have good times together.

Sometimes she throws her garbage on her floor and we do not.

FAQ #83

How much has Ricky's butt fur grown back?
I would say about 75%. I told my mom 80% earlier today but I changed my mind after another look.

International Laws

In England, it's illegal to name your pet "Queen" or "Princess" without the Queen's permission.

In India, women - but not men - are allowed to marry goats.

In Canada, if a debt is higher than 25 cents, it's against the law for you to pay with pennies.

In Vancouver, British Columbia, the speed limit for tricycles is 10 miles per hour.

If you aren't a member of the royal family in Japan, it's illegal for you to own a maroon car.

In Equatorial Guinea, you can name your daughter anything you want - except Monica.

Makes sense: In London, England, it's illegal to operate a motor vehicle while sitting in the back seat.

In Athens, Greece, driving on public roads while "unbathed" or dressed poorly can cost you your drivers license.

- Uncle John's Biggest Ever Bathroom Reader

Superstars of dance is the best

I am watching it right now and it rules. Rachel is so mad at the judges because they didn't give australia as high of a score as Ireland. She looks like she's going to punch someone. I have to to make sure Ricky is safe.

Oh, memories overload

Everyday after first grade, I watched this in my mom's bedroom on her bed. I usually was eating Cool Ranch Doritos. I didn't remember this opener even existed until YouTube put it under my "Recommended Videos."




I especially remember the part where Launchpad McQuack is slipping on the paint toward the end. Good stuff.

iTouch!

I am updating this from my itouch! Thank you Santa claus!

Oh my gosh, I think they aren't kidding

Okay, so Ricky stinks a lot right now because of the whole peeing in his carrier again incident. I was looking online for some tips on how to de-reekify your cat, and I found this on yahoo answers:

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.

3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. (She mintions I may need to stand on the lid so that it cannot escape).

CAUTION: Don't get any part of your body too close to the edge, as its paws will be reaching out to grab anything they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides a "powerwash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where he will dry himself.

Yawn.

I've had a long week. You know what is boring? Licensing a childcare center. That's what I spent a lot of my week helping out with.




I rearranged my room.


I'm feeling boring right now and my blog post is reflecting it. Let's see if I can find a picture of boredom:

Okay that's a great one.

Oh, something that is NOT boring is my new iTouch. That is an iPod with a touch screen. I'm very enthused about it. And I have 15 dollars of an iTunes card to buy new songs for it with. What should I buy? Any suggestions?

Ricky peed in his carrier again today. I might sell him. He is now quarantined in the bathroom and meowing loudly but I'm mad at him so he's staying in there.

I had a piece of chocolate biscotti for breakfast. Not healthy, but delicious.

In conclusion, I look good in red. (name that reference!)