Sunday, September 28, 2008

Re: Hmm

I think I have decided that I really do smell worse than the average person.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Cities and Sex

My night was very awesome for many reasons.
  1. Shannon came over and she hasn't seen my apartment before.

  2. We went out to eat because it's my day off from my healthy-eating-plan.

  3. We went out to Mambo Italiano

  4. They said they couldn't seat us for 25-30 minutes at M.I., but then while we were deciding if we should leave, they came back out and said they could seat us NOW.

  5. I had a Mambo chocolate extraveganza drink and it was amazing.

  6. Shannon and I split a tortellini - which was much, much, MUCH more delicious than I had expected.

  7. We got Jelly Bellies at Fred Meyer after eating dinner.

  8. We went back to my house and watched the Sex and The City movie.

  9. I gave Ricky his medicine and Shannon was impressed at how I shoved the pill down histhroat. (It is quite impressive.)

All in all, I give this Saturday night an A.


I'm worried that I smell worse than the average person.

B-ballin it.

Here is something I just learned:

In 2000, Michael “Wild Thing” Wilson of the Harlem Globetrotters set a new world record by dunking a basketball at a height of 12 feet (24 inches above a standard rim).

Holy Mother of Ricky the Cat. Twelve feet. I could probably dunk about..... 5'9''.

Where do basketball players come from? How do they get to be so tall? Are they considered normal or do they actually have giantitis? (I mean the real kind, not like when I make up words.)

For real. I might test myself and see how high I can actually dunk. Then I can know how impressed I should really be. Because if I can dunk at like 11'2, then big whoop, Mr. Wild Thing Wilson.


There was a commercial advertising some weight-loss drink for women, and at the bottom of the screen on the last part of the 15 second blip, it said in tiny letters:

"Results not typical. Cartoons lose weight easily."

It made me laugh.

Thursday, September 25, 2008


Sometimes people think I'm funny. It's normal. I can be funny. And then there are people that think I am out-of-control-funny. Like they giggle when they look at me.

One of the ladies that I am doing boot camp with just thinks I'm funny all the time. The other day, we were doing sit ups and she started chuckling.

"What's funny?" I asked, thinking that there is absolutely not one thing that is funny about doing 50 sit-ups without a break.

"Oh, just you." she answered.

I paused. I hadn't even spoken in like 13 minutes.

"I wasn't saying anything," I replied.

"Oh, I was just remembering something you said earlier." ::eruptious laughter::

I just must tickle her funny bone. I don't intentionally try to be funny, by the way. In fact, I probably wouldn't even notice the funniness if people didn't point it out all the time. I think that my house growing up was like a boot camp for funniness.

My brother is way funnier than I am. Just imagine if I brought my brother to my workout sessions. No, actually, that's weird. Super weird. Never mind. But you see what I'm saying.


Direct quote from the vet:

"Ricky is a special cat with special problems."

Ricky bit his own tail. Why, why why why, why? Because he's special. Ricky had to have tail surgery because he bit his own tail and it created an abscess.

Then, it was supposed to recover, but he kept biting at and re-injuring it, even with his special cone on, and so he had to go back in AGAIN today, be drained again, and get a bigger, more ridiculous looking cone around his neck.

Ricky is a very special, expensive cat.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

September 17th


Tuesday, September 16, 2008

It's my birthday eve.

The eve of my 24th.

Willow, one of the ladies I work out with, told me that her 24th year was her best. YES! BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE, HERE I COME!

Also, I want someone to go parachuting with a birthday cake parachute for my birthday. I know that this picture says "30th" birthday blah blah blah, but you get the idea. I think that this is necessary.
I will, however, accept an elaborate 35-minute firework show in the absence of a parachuting birthday cake.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008


I spend more time than I should watching the Game Show Network. It plays reruns of old game shows. People were funnier in the 70's and 80's.

Also, what happened to all the bloggers? My little list on the left is so sad.... "Updated 3 weeks ago" Updated 34 weeks ago." Come on, guys. BLOG IT UP.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Things that Lynn does that are weird

  1. Eats spinich plain. Out of the bag.
  2. I can't think of anything else but #1 is weird.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Some Highlights from Ray of Hope

This summer I was with the 5 year olds. Not just like run-of-the-mill psycho 5 year olds. These are kids that have been identified already as either emotionally or behaviorally challenged. You can imagine what this might look like.

They did a lot of hilarious things, including but not limited to:

- Pooping their pants (in a variety of locations - our classroom, the lunchroom, on field trips). One young man pooped his pants twice in one day... at the waterslides. Did he have anything except his swim suit that day? Nope. So what do ya do? Just rinse and go.

- While throwing a tantrum so severe that he had to be physically restrained, one child screamed out "I KNOW YOURE ALL ROBOTS!"

- One delightful little fellow got angry at a staff member so he left the lunch area, went back to our room, and stood in front of a fabric rocking chair and peed all over it.

- There is a worship song that we sing that has a line that goes, " I want a heart that beats for You!" meaning God. One of my co-workers was trying to talk to the kids about what that meant later during the day, and one little guy sighed and said, "I want a heart that beats for Nicole." Ha!

- Every time we had a small group discussion, we discussed topics like love, respect, responsibility, etc. EVERY day, one of my most creative (yet least truthful) little campers told a very long story about how her mom pooped her pants and tied it in to the topic we were talking about. For example:

"When I was a baby, my mom went to the beach and then she pooped her pants. [laughter from group] And it was very disgusting and it was so gross that my grandma fainted. And then they went home and my mom pooped her pants again. [laughter from group] On the couch. And they had to get a new couch. And then my mom peed on the kitchen floor. [laughter from group] And that's how my mom learned about courage."

And those are just from my group, which is 1/8 of the camp.